Bookkake

Sassinak by Anne McCaffrey and Elizabeth Moon

It had brief moments of pleasure but it was very confusing with her/their poor descriptions of alien races and the unfulfilled plot arcs. A lot of it really sucked till I was crying for it to be over. How can you introduce us to a whole new Universe with it's own brand of aliens and technology and not be more descriptive? At least fill me in on what the hell was going on....blah. I built a fire in the fireplace and I was seriously considering using it as kindling...

Stoned Again

King King vs. Godzilla/Kingu Kongu tai Gojira (1962)
Dir: Ishirô Honda
*1/2

Bullshit. There's no way stoner Kong (and yes, he actually does get stoned on a psychotropic drug called Soma) can beat Godzilla's ass. All of a sudden Kong gets the power of the darkside and shoots electricity out of his hands? Godzilla's new weakness is electricity? Bullshit I say... bullshit!!!!! This is the start of the camp and I'm so-so on it.

Booktastic

Necroscope II: Vamphyri! by Brian Lumley

Another winner! This series is turning out to be like a cross between James Bond and Hellraiser. Heavy on the ESP spy game, where in this book all the agents get their ass handed to them by interdimensional vampire baddie's. Harry Keogh, an incorporeal agent of the dead who travels via the Mobius Strip, is the lovable protagonist. In the end he gets a body and is now head of ESPionage for the British. Rock hard!!!!!

Godzilla Raids the Fridge

Godzilla Raids Again/Gojira no gyakushû (1955)
Dir: Motoyoshi Oda
***1/2

Not too shabby for a sequel. I found the monster fights a little dull (isn't that what it's all about though)? and the story lacked the oomph of groundbreaking that its predecessor had. The American version of this is absolutely horrid in every way imaginable.

Superbad (2007)
Dir: Greg Mottola
***1/2

I was more impressed than I thought I would be. I disliked both 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up...

America Ruins Everything

Godzilla, King of the Monsters! (1956)
Dir: Terry O. Morse
*

A mockery... Gojira horribly cut up, edited and bastardized with shots of Raymond Burr bringing his less than tolerable acting ability into play with the back of peoples heads. You know what? It may never have been said before... Fuck you Raymond Burr! You're a fat ass jerk off who couldn't act his way out of a paper bag! Whew, I almost feel better....

Go Go Gadget Gojira

Gojira (1954)
Dir: Ishirô Honda
*****

Not the camp classic you thought it was. An original story that is part horror, part political, that shows the abuse of the people caused by weapons of mass destruction with more than just a man in a suit. This was a labor intensive act of love that had many firsts for the Japan film industry. The first use of story boarding in a Japan film. The creation of the monster costume. The thematic showing of cultural changes and adaptation of Western ideals in Japan society. For me, this will be a timeless classic and one of the best films ever made.

Bookkake

The Last Command by Timothy Zahn

Fantastic only in the sense that I never have to lay my tired eyes on another Zahn book as long as I live... Leia had twins, Luke fell in love and the Empire's last hope, Grand Admiral Thrawn, is defeated. Hip hip hooray....I'm unsure as to whether I can stomach any more Star Wars Universe novels at this point. Only time and the Force will tell...

Oh Mie oh my!

Mie Hama in all her glory...

Frankenstein....isn't that a Jewish name?

Frankenstein Conquers the World/Furankenshutain tai chitei kaijû Baragon(1965)
Dir: Ishirô Honda
****1/2

How awesome is it when you get a far more competent story than you could ever hope for? During the close of WWII the Gremans assist the Japanese in building genetically modified fighters. How to do this? Start with the Frankenstein monster's heart (which never stops beating) and go from there. Then the bomb hits. 15 years later a wild boy shows up, eating livestock and horribly mutated by radiation but not dying. Throw in a few mad growth spurts, some misunderstandings galore, one or two giant monsters (depending on whether you watch the Japanese or American release) and you have yourself one hell of a great film! I highly recommend...

King Bong

King Kong Escapes/Kingu Kongu no gyakushû (1967)
Dir: Ishirô Honda
***

Believe it or not, this is based on the above cartoon, which was a very popular anime series in Japan. They even go so far as to use the same robot, Mecha Kong and villian, Dr. Who (no folks, not the British scarf one). It was entertaining and filled with it's own quirkiness. I have been noticing that Honda's later work is a lot sloppier. I saw strings galore and some of the effects were incomplete. You don't see that in the earlier stuff. Two thing of note: 1. Mie Hama is an uber hottie!!!! I heard she posed naked for Playboy in the Sixties and I need to find me a stain free copy. 2. Is it me or is Kong seriously stoned in this film? His eyes are sooo glazed, there must be mad ganja in Java!!

20 Million Minutes in Heaven

20 Million Miles to Earth (1957)
Dir: Nathan Juran
***

Ray Harryhausen's tragic monster figure, Ymir, is commendable. The level of detail and exceptional use of low budget special effects is really what led me to give this a ***. A classic message throughout is the running theme of man's intent to destroy what he does not understand. Even with sub par acting, it's all about the monster and this film really takes off with classic scenes of monster mayhem (Ymir battles an elephant) and a very sad death indeed for the big fella...

Bookkake

Star Wars: Dark Force Rising by Timothy Zahn

Well, I have no problem admitting it's a stinker but I grudgingly admit it's slightly better than the frist one. There was a chapter here and there that kept me enthralled but it was rough going for at least 200 pages or so. For anyone who has no idea, this is a book series from the 90's that started a wave of Star Wars literature that has survived and grown to this very day. Are any of the books better than these? Only a cynic like me can say... I can only pray that the final book will be a breeze....

Heavy Metal?

Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Dir: Stanley Kubrick
**** 

Exactly like I thought it would be, with a few surprises along the way. His best? I don't know... I'd love to debate a willing soul at some point. I thought it was a little too much montage and not enough base storytelling, but hey... my first time seeing it and now I know where 'Me so horny' comes from!

Booktastic

Necroscope by Brian Lumley

Truth be told I thought I was going to hate this with a passion. I tend to judge a book by the first paragraph. If it hooks me in, I'm usually sold. I wasn't hot on the first paragraph here, but God Damn if it doesn't have you by the second!!!! This is a book with more than a few supernatural themes, from Government endorsed ESPionage to corpse mind readers. And I know it's been said a thousand times, but I swear...an original take on the vampire mythos is laid bare in this absolute enthralling winner of a novel. I read all 500+ pages in one sitting and I'm eagerly expecting to start on the sequel if Amazon gets their ass in gear! There are 6 or 7 books in the series and I pray it never gets old....

You're Unbelievable

Varan the Unbelievable/Daikaijû Baran (1958)
Dir: Ishirô Honda
***1/2

What about Varan the Unpopular? It's true, the least popular monster in the kaiju mythos. He wasn't that bad... nothing like Godzilla though. He really couldn't take too much of a beating and he spent a great deal of time hiding beneath the sea...His defense was stomping and wind, no breath weapons to be sure. He could fly though, that was neat. Why so unpopular? I think maybe he spent to much time reading crappy sci-fi and watching monster movies...no wait, that's me!