Bookkake

Star Wars: Heir to the Empire by Timothy Zahn

Uggghhh!!!! At the time this was published it was the first original Star Wars novel, before the new films, and the hype was incredible. The book cover is heaped with praise for Timothy Zahn, a one time Hugo award winner. This is one of many books I picked up recently for a mere 25 cents. I was very excited to engross myself in the Star Wars mythos, continuing the adventures of Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie, among others. Well here I am to tell you...what a load of Sith!!!! Weak characters (with such established characters you would think he had plenty to embellish upon), weak dialogue (lot's of point, point taken, point...), boring and tired situations (for example, a planet with force canceling tree sloths, really?) that don't really expand the universe as much much as make it more of a jumbled mess. I reluctantly have a mission to read the entire trilogy to see what happens but in the midst of the second book and with the third one on its way I am really hating myself for getting involved in this. May the force be with me as I tread through the morass...

10,000 reasons to like Star Trek

Bookkake

Burdens of Empire by C. J. Ryan

For anyone who checks in from time to time you may be aware that I've divided my book reviews-two easy (Bookkake or Booktastic) categories. Now, Bookkake can range from wanted to poke my eyes with lit cigarettes lest my brain suffer any more words on the page, to not bad... just not great, or memorable for that matter. This book certainly falls in the latter category. This, the latest in a series (four so far) of novels featuring Gloria VanDeen, super-whore, super-hot, intergalactic diplomat for alien affairs. It was easy to get the gist of what went on previously without having read the others. I appreciated that. What about the plot? Does this sound familiar?

Alien terrorism, sectarian violence, armed insurgency...a police action...many on Earth believed was a tragic mistake...With violence escalating daily, and with an indigenous population whose customs and religion are a mystery...an army of freelance killers run by an Earth-based corporation motivated by pure greed.

Yep!!! The Iraq war, told with aliens and a hot chick or two. Slightly fun but the parallels were tiring after a while and the myraid political blah blah faded my interest in the cool aspects of it. There are cool parts, just not near enough in my opinion. I would read the others if they turned up at the thrift store (I bought this book for 25 cents) but I think I'll stay out of Borders and spend my 7 and change elsewhere...

Atragroan

Atragon/Kaitei gunkan (1963)
Dir: Ishirô Honda
***1/2

The lost city of Mu (otherwise known as Atlantis) is thriving beneath the sea and are bent on world domination. They would have gotten away with too, except for a secret Japanese sub called the Atragon that kicks ass and takes names. What would Mu be if it didn't have it's own monster, Manda. He doesn't last very long though. This was an alright pic. a little heavy handed at times but enjoyable.

Papa Gappa

Gappa the Triphibian Monsters/Daikyojû Gappa (1967)
Dir: Haruyasu Noguchi
***

The monster family unit. Momma and Papi Gappa come after their baby when a crew of scientists kidnap him for a theme park. Originally intended as a light hearted spoof of monster films. However, I think the intentions were ultimately lost in the transfer. It was okay for not being a Toho film and the ending made me choke up a little...the company that produced this had little success and became the leader in soft core Asian porn of the 70"s but still went belly up. Gappa then became public domain.

I now have a reason to like Harry Potter

As big of a geek as I claim to be I never much cared for Harry Potter, but if there was more of this going on I might be inclined to give it a try...

WTF?!!!!

Your Monster Profile

Evil Claw You Feast On: Pickles You Lurk Around In: Public Restrooms You Especially Like to Torment: Priests

What's Your Monster Name?

I lurk in bathrooms waiting for priests? Is this thing psychic?

Cool Posters

Booktastic

The Drive In: Omnibus by Joe R.Lansdale

By the same gent who wrote the great Bubbahotep comes a horror novel that I read straight through in about an eight hour stretch. I could not put it down and barely cared whether I starved or got hit by a smiling red comet with gnashing teeth until I was finished. The book is in two parts, Drive In 1 and Drive In 2 and I'm glad I had it all once... A weekly ritual of the Friday night horrorfest at the local drive in becomes a deadly trap when some Cthulhu-esque Gods from beyond make the world beyond the massive 4,000 car capacity drive in disappear, trapping the drive in goers to star in the God's own version of a deadly B-movie film. A massive three screen projecter repeats the same movies over and over though the outside world is gone. Things get really bad when the junk food runs out...things get worse when a certain Popcorn God shows up on the scene. This book is mad, funny, eerie and disgusting in the best way I could ever imagine. I dare you to take in the show. Above is a collection of covers from the book and the comic book adaptation.

Bookkake

Hellstrom's Hive by Frank Herbert

The first Herbert novel I've ever read. A secret society of insect-like, genetically manipulated hive people have been infiltrating our society for years. A secret branch of Government agency types get wind of unusual happenings and stumble across papers that could be partial blueprints of a new weapon. In the process of reconnoitering the area, where things are suspected of taking place, a few agents get killed. Things really amp up at this point and chaos ensues with a surprising conclusion...
I wish I could say it was awesome. I think it would have been a better short story but it's in the 300's. There were some really good parts and at the last hundred pages it was really hard to put down. There were just too many boring and drawn out parts about the agency and the details of the Hive where my mind couldn't focus or didn't really want to. If you are a Herbert or sci-fi completist then it's worth a read. If not...ehhh! Above are some nifty covers made over the years.

10,000 reasons to like Star Trek

Starro's Third Cousin once Removed

Warning from Space/Uchûjin Tôkyô ni arawaru (1956)
Dir:Koji Shima
**

Zzzzzz...what...oh? Um oh um this race of star creatures have been observing us for hundreds of years and they come with a message...zzzzz....visine: it gets the red out?

Gilligans Island?

Matango (1963)
Dir: Ishirô Honda
****

Seven people with varying backgrounds embark on a pleasure cruise only to be shipwrecked on a deserted island (Haven't we heard this somewhere before?). The allegiances quickly fall apart as there is barely any food to eat...except for these mushrooms that make you trip balls and turn you into horribly disfigured mushroom people! Haunting and truly creepy, the backbone of this story relies on the greediness and dissemination of character when forced to survive in a dire situation. In a simpler word, awesome!

Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend...or is it Monsters?

Dogora/Uchu daikaijû Dogora (1964)
Dir: Ishirô Honda
**1/2

Cells in space get radiated, turn into jellyfish like monsters that live in the clouds and eat coal, diamonds and any carbon they can get their greedy little proboscises (I looked it up, it's really a word) on. Amazingly, this story is only a backdrop to what's really going on here. Introduce Mark Jackson (Robert Dunham) a Japanese speaking American and ninja like character. He is a diamond G-Man? and this was an attempt at starting his leap into a series of films. This ultimately was shot down, but in another world...?

Booktastic

Which Brings Me to You: A Novel in Confessions by Steve Almond and Julianna Baggott

The title says it all. A series of confessional past relationship stories in letter form and the failures thereof. Not only was the book highly entertaining but it was at times charged, erotic and really made me look into myself and my failures as a model boyfriend. I highly recommend if you're the introspective type and you put a great deal of your mettle behind what you've done or not done in your dating life.

Not the Band

The Mysterians/Chikyu Boeigun (1957)
Dir: Ishirô Honda
****

I didn't post the Japanese poster for this, because frankly, it's boring compared to these two gems seen above. The basic premise of this really fun film: The world leaders put aside their petty differences and join forces/create new technologies to stop an alien threat. The script is a little thin but there are two things which really stuck out to me. The first being that much of the same cast and the director were responsible for the ultimate kaiju film Gojira (Akihiko Hirata is like the Fifty's Johnny Depp)and the second was how much of a perfectionist Ishiro Honda was with the special effects. This film made some remarkable leaps in it's day with never before seen ways of creating believable special effects (alright, settle down... I didn't know this at first but I listened to the commentary track). All in all a four star gem!

I Fell Down

The Man who Fell to Earth (1976)
Dir: Nicolas Roeg
***
At times befuddling and a little confusing, this sci-fi and metaphysical epic lost me. It felt like a watered down 2001 for a generation of people who never "got it" in the first place. It has a certain charm and there were some good bits. The alien homeworld, modern inventions and oh my Lord! the nudity! It was sexy sexy. I could have maybe done without seeing women play with Rip Torns penis but...

Turtle Soup III

Gamera 3: The Awakening of Iris/Gamera 3: Iris kakusei (1999)
Dir: Shusuke Kaneko
*****

Without a doubt the BEST monster movie I've ever seen. The effects are flawless and the acting is amazingly superb. Even the modern Godzilla flicks have yet to hold a torch to this masterpiece of monster mayhem. I can't imagine a world without Gamera...

Turtle Soup II

Gamera 2: Assault of the Legion/Gamera 2: Region shurai (1996)
Dir: Shusuke Kaneko
****1/2

Now we're talking! A Gamera film that takes itself very seriously and pulls no punches. Legion is a space bug that causes chaos in a very short time scale until Gamera comes to the rescue... only Gamera gets blown up along with the entire city of Sheido. This is very heavily focused on the military aspect of fighting off an unspeakable threat without a chance in Hell of success. I like...

Turtle Soup

Gamera: The Guardian of the Universe/Gamera daikaijû kuchu kessen (1995)
Dir:Shusuke Kaneko
***

As bad as this is, and it is bad, if you were raised on a heavy dose of Gamera you will come to appreciate the giant flying turtle. This is only the 9th film in the over 30 year series and it was filled with hammy acting, sub par special effects and a fledgling attempt at bringing back enemies of old (Gyaos: sort of a giant leathery bird/bat). However, this I find fascinating .....



Ayako Fujitani, who appears in this and the following two Gamera films is Steven Segal's daughter!!!!!! Who knew?

at home with the flu or 10,000 reasons to like Star Trek

Whenever I have nothing relevant to post I give you .... interesting Star Trek

What I did on Halloween

I and about 300+ other people spent the night amongst the tombstones watching Kubrick's the Shining on a mausoleum wall at the Hollywood Forever Cemetary. It was a ghoulishly fascinating experience.








The Shining (1980)
Dir: Stanley Kubrick
*****

Again a first time for me and I'm sooo glad I waited because I can't think of a better way to have seen this than with such a large group of people in the the midst of the graves. Monumental and I can't say enough about the composition and the perfect use of creepy music throughout! Kubrick rocks!!!!!